06/17/2000

Dream: Twilight Time

-I’m at a strip club and find that Andrew is one of the strippers. He pulls me up on stage with him
-when I get home it’s twilight and Jane is standing on the driveway. She’s my daughter rather than my sister
-my aunt is there and she says Jane’s father is here, too
-it’s Kennedy

Dear Lawrence,

Maybe we should talk. What are you doing July first? I’m not promising anything, but perhaps we could revive the plan we made to meet on the first day I’m officially no longer a student. If you decide that you would like to see me, I’ll be there.

I don’t know how you feel, but I’m comfortable with the way we left things. If you would rather not, I’ll understand. Sometimes I miss you a lot and sometimes I’m happy to have my life to myself.

Did you know how badly I wanted to kiss you that day we went to the McMichael Gallery? Even in the car, every time we came to a red light I wanted to lean over and sniff your neck. Do you remember lunch on the patio at that restaurant you took me to, with the little green things falling from the trees? We had to put our coasters over our water glasses.

You told me you would never forget that day, or the way you felt. We were so happy then. Do you remember sitting together in your classroom after school and simply admiring each other? And how wonderful it felt to be in Love? And that surge of desire when we touched?

Desire for you still flows through my veins, as much a part of my body as my blood or my skin. Please know that I Love you and that I can’t look at you without wanting you to hold me. You truly are the man of my dreams. I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. You look delicious. I could just devour those lips, those thighs, that neck.

I can’t imagine a more ideal partner.

Giselle