08/18/99

I am grateful for the word ‘missive.’ It may only mean ‘a letter’ but it reminds me of Man of La Mancha. The missive Don Quixote sends the Lady Dulcinea is a very elegant Love letter.

Today, I am at peace.

I received a letter from Lawrence’s lovely little daughter Bess, which could almost be classified as a missive, itself. She is very romantic. I wonder where she gets that from… certainly not from her father. (I’m sorry; that was a judgement.)

I wonder if this is something she even realizes. I know that I have encouraged freedom of expression in her, but I don’t think that’s the same as romanticism.

Although Bess was subjected to ‘Giselle Stories’ as she calls them (tales of things I’d done or said in English class when Lawrence was my teacher), the first time she encountered me in the flesh, I was reading the role of Juliet—a romantic figure. I suppose it would make sense that she should continue to see me in this way. Before becoming ‘Giselle’ I was the archetype: The Lover; The Empress; The High Priestess, in a sense.

And, before that encounter, just imagine how her father must have presented me! I was initially introduced to her by a person for whom I do hold these archetypal qualities, whether they be realized or not. Venus, elle-meme. I now see why Lawrence’s son Kennedy should be so suspicious of me. He’s the same age as Leslie and he’s got eyes in his head, that one.

How now, Ophelia!

Oh, this makes perfect sense, all of the sudden. I mean, it always did make sense, but now it makes spherical sense. Kennedy, I am assuming, was never tormented with ‘Giselle Stories.’ Good move. So his first encounter with me was as Juliet. Oh, to him there is no separation. Giselle is Juliet. Giselle is the threat. Giselle is the Lover. Giselle is the woman who rejects society’s opinion and follows her heart.

Giselle is the one who falls in Love with the man she can’t have. Giselle is the one who has him anyway.

Oh, Kennedy! And to think that I played with the suspicions you held about me and your father before even understanding them…

Giselle