08/22/1999

Dream: Up To His Old Tricks

-I’m back at school, seeing my friends on the last day of classes
-Andrew and I look through pictures on the wall together, and then walk into the auditorium, only to find everyone meditating
-Ms. Pape scolds us for being late, and I’m mortified because I didn’t even know we had classes
-the teachers are thinking up ways to get us to clean the auditorium without realising we’re doing so. Ms. Pape asks us to work on scenes in partners, about cleaning
-everyone has a partner right away, but I don’t. I wander out of the auditorium and see many people, most of whom are sitting on the floor. They say they’re not going to do the exercise
-I decide to go home. I see a house with a gorgeous balcony and think we should buy it. Then I see the next-door neighbour watching me from her house and I wish she wouldn’t spy
-when I get to my front door, I notice it’s open and I know the kids wouldn’t be home yet, and even if they were they would have closed the door
-I yell inside, “Is anyone home?”
-my father appears at the basement door and replies, “Just you and me.”
-I run to the neighbour’s house and knock on her door. She’s still there and I ask if I can come in. She says yes and leads me to a T.V. in the basement
-there’s a feast on the table, but it seems irrelevant to me
-she says she’s making some coffee and asks if I would like some
-I ask for tea instead
-the T.V. only gets kid channels and I keep flipping until I see Remington Steele. My mom always liked that show, so I watch that

I’m just sitting here wondering what to write.

I finished Moby Dick today.

I’m breathing.

Sometimes I really feel like mum despises me. How many times have I heard the words, “I wish you would just move out”? She would despise me even more were I actually to do it. Staying at Aunt Bay’s for a week should be a slight break.

Mum killed the gladiolas I planted out front. She chopped them right down. I was terribly disappointed, but when I mentioned it she actually yelled, “I don’t care!”

Je me sens que j’oublies un peu comment aimer, mais…

How blessed am I to inhabit such a glorious temple as this!

I Love, I Love, I Love.

Giselle